When VeganElla Met NakedWard
by Lemon Muffins
Summary: Bella is a vegan and an activist in the extreme. When she climbs into a stranger's window to escape an opposing viewpoint, who knows what sparks will fly? Rated M for language and implied sexual content.


Oh my... What fun this was to write; I basically mixed in my own morals with my friend's extremism and thought it would make a pretty interesting Bella character...

So no offense to all of you crazy hippie vegans out there, as I'm a vegetarian pacifist human and animal rights activist with a freaking peace sign tattoo myself. We're like cousins, you and I... Come join me living happily in SanFran, yes? XD

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or its characters; I just enjoy fiddling with them for my own personal _pleasure_ ;P

* * *

Bella was pissed. In fact, she was absolutely _livid_ after what she deemed a very shitty week.

On Monday, her shopping trip came to an abrupt halt when she discovered that Target stopped coming out with new selections of their clothes made of 100% recycled materials. She already owned all of the old merchandise that they had, and was sorely disappointed that the people from Coke couldn't get off their lazy asses to help the environment more. She left the store without buying anything, just out of sheer principle.

On Tuesday she was "escorted" off the premises of the local KFC in the middle of her one-woman protest. The manager of the establishment claimed harassment and physical assault, though she barely touched the man. The bruises had to have come form somewhere else, of course. And then she had to sit in a holding cell until her mom came in to get her, refusing to pick her up at from a place like that ever again.

And on Wednesday, _IT_ happened. She was supposed to have been rallying with the rest of her community group to help plan the 2009 peace and freedom parade, but instead she had to deal with _**IT**__._

_**IT**_ was her live-in fiance, Jacob Black, who had the audacity to bring _eggs_ into their home.

_Eggs._

_EGGS._

He brought eggs home, even though he knew full well that she was a vegan, and she was under the impression that he was as well.

Bella had spent many years of her life demonstrating against what she thought was wrong, whether it meant wearing recycled clothes, stopping the consumption of animal flesh into her body, refusing to wear leather, or even when she stopped wearing bras because they were simply tools invented to make women conform to what the male mind had deemed attractive and suitable for society and if Bella had wanted to conform to someone else's ideals, then she would have gone to go live in a fucking republican dominated community.

And the... the... the _eggs..._ were such a big deal because Jacob had been with her through every protest, demonstration, and debate, under the distinct impression that they were of one mind. Perhaps she didn't know as much as she thought she did about the man who she had accepted to be with her for the rest of their lives in the glorious hub of free thought and forward thinking that was San Francisco.

San Francisco. A place of beautiful architecture, and beautiful ideals. Hell fucking yeah.

She'd been sharing the small apartment off Polk with Jacob for the last seven months, and when she discovered the _eggs_ in his reusable satchel from the grocery store, things started going how they usually went: messy. Sure, they had fun, they laughed, and they made love often, but they also fought. Frequently. Fighting seemed to be programmed into Bella's genetics, as she couldn't seem to stop doing it, even for just a day. And Bella hadn't really had time to get her aggression out at KFC the other day, and it had been a while since she'd been to another good protest, which her Jake knew meant that she'd take her "debating"—as she liked to call it—attitude out on him. He was expecting it the second he saw her expression, but he didn't think it would lead to quite so much turmoil...

"You brought fucking _animal products_ into our home, Jacob Black?" She asked in a dangerously low voice before her shrill yell filled the room. "How could you support the slaughter of animals like that?!"

"Now baby," he began, pleading with her to listen. "They're eggs. It's not a big deal. And being a vegetarian isn't so bad..."

"Fucking pansy ass vegetarians. Can't stick to a decision so they half to do it half way," she mumbled to herself, having no tolerance for people who couldn't make up their mind.

At her words, Jacob lost his temper.

"Excuse me, miss high and mighty, but for your information, buying products from animal-happy corporations makes a much bigger difference than just abstaining!"

"I don't fucking care!" Bella screeched, making Jake wince.

"You should fucking care. You SAY you fucking care about the chickens!"

"I DO care. That's why I DON'T EAT THEM," she emphasized the last words.

"And that makes no difference!"

"Fuck you."

"If more people bought egg embryos rather than just plain eggs or flat out refused to buy any like _some_ people, then the mutinous chicken companies would be out of business!"

Bella was flabbergasted. "So you're telling me that not only are those _eggs_, but they're fertilized_?! _How can you live with yourself?!_"_

"It's a scientifically proven fact that only happy chickens can lay eggs, and you can't guarantee that with regular eggs, _Bella._" He sneered her name as if it was common knowledge, which, considering their circles, it was.

"So," she began, "you'd rather eat an animal than-"

"Than something that never was an animal, but is proof that it's mother wasn't beaten and pumped full of hormones? Yes, I would!"

"That's disgusting!" she shouted at him.

"That's life! It's a choice I made!" he returned.

"I'm just disgusted that you have the urge to eat eggs in the first place," Bella sighed, toning down her anger as she slumped onto their loveseat. Maybe Jacob wasn't the man for her after all, and the thought made her upset. "I'm just going to go take a walk," she added, heading to their front door.

Jake blocked the path and the ire that had so recently faded came back ten fold. She raised an eyebrow and gave him a look that obviously said, _You're fucking kidding me, right?_

"You can't leave until we sort this out, Bella. I don't like it when you're angry with me."

She threw her hands wildly in the air. "Then you shouldn't have soiled our home by bringing in your nasty _baby chicken eggs!"_ she exclaimed, whispering the last part as if someone might overhear her and judge.

"Look, I'm sorry, I just-"

And his words were cut off by the bathroom door slamming in his face. Bella put the toilet seat down and sat on it, bitterly pleased at the dumfounded expression she imagined on Jacob's face. And then she leaned over and put her head in her hands, trying to calm herself. Jake's insistent banging on the door accompanied by apologies that she didn't believe weren't helping the process, so she pushed aside the curtains and opened the window leading to their fire escape, letting the cool breeze from the bay invigorate her troubled mind.

She took a deep breath.

"Bella? Bella baby, can you please answer me?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby, please forgive me."

She scoffed.

"Baby?" He paused. "Can you at least answer me so I know you're alright in there?"

She stayed silent just to spite him.

But then a minute later she heard the sound of him _unlocking the door _to her hideout. The presumptuous ASS! She immediately hauled ass out the bathroom window and was closing it behind her as he opened the door all the way. She looked back to see his appalled expression, pleased to have gotten to him.

"Bella!" he yelled before hurrying to open the window after her.

She ignored him.

"Get back in here before you fall and hurt yourself!" he called after her as she swung her way up, climbing a couple little sets of metal bars to get as far away from his voice as possible.

"No!" she shouted back immaturely.

"You're in a fucking skirt, Bella. Get the fuck back down here!"

She blushed, but replied, "Not until you go the fuck away!"

"I'm not going away until I know you won't fucking kill yourself or give any of the neighbors a free show!" he yelled, gathering the attention of people on the street, despite his claim that he was trying to protect her dignity.

"Too fucking bad, Jacob Black, just go away!" And with that, she peeked in the window in front of her, and not seeing anyone in there, she promptly opened it up and climbed inside.

She could faintly hear Jacob saying "Oh, fuck..." and their own bathroom window slamming shut before she closed and locked the window in the room she now occupied.

_Shit._

She had no idea what she was supposed to do now. Her mother said she wouldn't bail her out again, but if someone was home and called the police for breaking and entering? Technically, Bella was just entering, but she thought her actions might have still been less than legal.

She double checked the window lock behind her in case Jake followed her up in the same manner, and then glanced around at her surroundings. Plain dark blue shower curtain that was closed. Two dark blue towels hanging up on the rack. There were no personal items around her whatsoever, but she figured they would be hidden in the medicine cabinet or behind the curtain; she wanted to escape Jacob's dramatic antics, not intrude on someone else's space, she she held back her nosy personality and forced herself not to look.

Because obviously, she wasn't doing anything wrong by simply being in the unknown stranger's bathroom.

She chanced a peek out the partially closed door and checked out the general layout, looking for an escape route. This apartment was very much like her own: a bedroom down the hall to the right, kitchen to the left, and living room directly in front of her, where she was disappointed to spy a mess of bronze hair over the top of the couch, watching infomercials on mute as he talked on the phone to someone. She couldn't get much from his side of the conversation, but the deep timber of his voice calmed down her scattered nerves.

"Yeah, I know... No, of course not. I don't know... Fine, I'll be there in an hour."

The man sighed deeply, and tossed the cordless phone to the couch beside him. Bella was just glad that it wasn't a dreaded cell phone; they always gave her the chills due to the radiation from them that could possibly be the cause of brain tumors and cancer, and just the way people attached them to their heads like their very lives depended on them always having it near. It was the one thing she and Jake never "debated" on, because he agreed with her wholeheartedly.

_Unless he was lying about that too,_ her mind sneered.

"Fuck," the mystery man mumbled to himself. "I hate it when she ropes me into doing things on my meeting days."

Bella smirked at the way he talked to himself until he stood up and turned around, making her hide behind the door so she wouldn't be seen. As his footsteps grew louder and closer, she flew through her mind, trying to come up with explanations in case his destination was his bathroom, though she hoped that he was only going to his room to get dressed for wherever it was he as "roped" into going.

But his steps stalled outside the bathroom door, and Bella panicked, stumbling into the shower and behind the curtain as he entered. She failed at calming her breathing, and just hoped that he would be too distracted to hear her.

She chanced a glance out at him, only to see him looking at the curtains over his window curiously before slowly closing them. _Shit_, she thought. _I didn't cover all my tracks._

She stuck her head back into her hiding place when he turned his body to take in the room, and she held her breath. After a moment that seemed much longer than it actually was, the man let out a little chuckle, probably chiding himself for worrying over nothing. Bella still held her breath.

Then she heard a sound that caused her mouth to fall open in shock—a zipper.

Her breathing got heavier as she hoped to whatever higher power was out there that he didn't plan on taking a shower or anything like that. She was more than relieved when it turned out he was only going to pee, though she was still a little weirded out; she'd been living with Jake for several months and still didn't feel comfortable having the two of them in the same room when using the bathroom. It was just a creep factor for her, and she held in her discomfort because she knew that she would give herself away if she let herself think about it too much.

Instead she observed his shampoo, pleased to see an animal friendly brand on the floor of the shower stall.

But her pleasure couldn't overrule her shudder at what was going on just 2 feet away, so she tried recounting the 31 Reasons to Go Vegan from the DVD that PETA had released back when she was in high school. It kept her mind occupied until the sound of streaming liquid cut off, and she held back her sigh of relief.

She heard her mystery man let out a sigh of exasperation as he mumbled incoherently to himself and she wanted to smile. Until his hand shot inside the curtain and turned the knob, making cold water rain down on Bella.

She let out a rather loud squeak and automatically jumped out of the tub, right into the man she had been hiding from. He had somehow managed to have stripped himself of all his clothes at some point while she was trying not to be grossed out.

And there Bella was, on top of a man who was rubbing the back of his head where it had collided on the bathroom floor, him naked, and Bella's white "Save the Whales!" t-shirt soaked completely through. Her hands rested on his defined chest as he closed his eyes and groaned in pain, and she had to admit that he was handsome. A nervous giggle escaped her throat before she could stop it, causing him to open his eyes.

"What. The. Fuck." That was all he said, an astonished look on his face.

"Um... I had a fight with someone and climbed through your window to get away from it all... I'm sorry?" she tacked on at the end.

"What. The. Fuck," he repeated before closing his eyes again and setting his head back down on the floor gingerly. His hands went up in the air as if he didn't know what to do with them, and Bella realized that she was still strewn on top of him.

"Oh!" she squeaked, flushing red. "Um, let me get off. I'm sure you don't like the idea of me on top of you like this very much," Bella said meekly was shifting her body to get up when the man suddenly grabbed her waist to keep her still.

"Fuck, don't move yet."

She complied, mildly embarrassed to be sitting atop a naked man she'd never met before in his bathroom after possibly injuring him.

"Mowing the lawn," he ground out between his teeth. "Ocean Views, the laundromat, seagulls, biking with mom on the Golden Gate Bridge..." He just kept uttering those nonsense phrases to himself, and it took Bella a moment to realize that she wasn't just sitting on top of a naked man she'd never met before in his own bathroom... She was sitting on top of a naked man who was very pleased to have a girl straddling him in his bathroom as he tried to calm himself down.

She took new stock of the facts, and her embarrassment decreased at she realized the hilarity of the situation. His hands were on her hips to keep her from wiggling around too much on top of him, and her own hands had somehow ended up resting on his arms, lightly playing with the hair there. She realized that touching him probably wasn't helping matters much, so she crossed her arms, only then noticing that she could have won one of those barbaric Wet T-Shirt Contests with the way her nipples were sticking out from her light shirt and into the poor man's face.

And then she became much more than mildly embarrassed. "Oh, god..." she moaned out in mortification.

"Can you not fucking talk either?" the man asked, and she felt a spike in his arousal at her seemingly breathy moan. She would have been stupid not to notice how... _gifted..._ this man was. She was just glad that she didn't know him from any of her local activist circles, because as it was, he was a gorgeous man who used vegan hair products (whether he knew it or not) and had a big fucking cock that obviously responded to her. So if he were one to organize a protest or lead a strike, then she would be in serious trouble.

She thanked god that he was probably one of the stupid conformists who made of the vast majority of the world, so she didn't have to worry about that.

But despite her thoughts, her hands seemed to automatically move from her chest to his own, leaving her headlights showing to the world. His eyes widened a little at the sight, and then he groaned, a hand going to the back of his head.

Since she knew there was no danger—her principles were much more important than her hormones—she decided to fuck with the poor bastard who stared so shamelessly, objectifying her like she was a common whore.

She leaned forward so her breasts were mere inches from his face so she could inspect the damage to his head and lifted his face up to get a look at the back of it. His nose grazed her wet shirt and the skin underneath it, and she paused a moment before adding the extra bit of space between them again. She pretended she only did it to tease him.

His response to her actions was to tighten his grip on her waist and let out a groan, and Bella took the opportunity to act as though his moan was from pain.

"Well, you have a little bit of a bump, but it's not so bad. You could take an Advil and be alright, I think."

He sat up abruptly, an angry expression on his face, and Bella nearly toppled backward until he lifted one hand to her back to steady her on top of him.

"You know damn fucking well that isn't the problem, so quit fucking teasing me and either get to it or get the fuck off."

She raised an eyebrow at his rude fucking language and waited for him to apologize to her for his outburst. She waited. And waited.

It seemed he was just as stubborn as she was, and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not fucking kidding. The choice is yours," he said, no hint of playfulness in his voice as his hands traveled down to her ass, pushing her against his erection. She glared at him to keep her face from turning traitor and expressing her desire. _Morals are more important_... she thought as she slapped him. He grabbed her wrist.

"Like I'm going to fuck a guy whose name I don't even know," she spat out at him, turned her face away and trying to yank her hand free.

"Edward Cullen," he introduced himself, his other hand snaking up her skirt. She turned to him in shock at his nerve and moved other hand on top of his to halt his movements, knowing that if she just slapped him with it, she'd have no hands left.

"Bella," she returned his introduction instead. "And knowing your name really doesn't change a thing."

He just scoffed at her, and let his hand continue its slow drift up her leg, her own hand still on top.

"Then why aren't you stopping me?" he asked, voicing her own concerns aloud. She couldn't think of a reason.

And it was at that moment that several things happened at once.

Someone knocked—_banged_, more like—on Edward's front door, his hand slipped into her panties, and the sunlight reflected into the bathroom and right onto Bella's diamond engagement ring.

"Oh shit!" Bella cried in response to both the stranger's fingers rubbing gently on her clit as well as the realization that she was engaged.

She slapped his wrist hard enough to sting and he retracted his hand, calling out, "Ow! What the fuck?!"

"Bella? Baby? Are you in there?" came Jacob's voice from outside the front door.

"Fucking hell..." Bella mumbled.

Edward raised an eyebrow at her and she held up her left hand, pointing out the ring there.

"You're engaged?" he asked, astonishment and possibly disappointment in his eyes. She nodded at him, exasperated at the repeated banging from Jacob.

"Bella? I heard you scream, so I swear to god I'm going to break the door down if you don't answer in 5 seconds."

"Will he really do that?"

"5..."

"Probably."

"4...."

"Is he a big guy?"

"3..."

"Hell fucking yeah."

"2...."

"Jealous type?"

"1..."

"Not of stupid fucking omnivores," she answered. Jake knew of her fierce hatred of people who ate meat, and wouldn't even think of being jealous of them, she knew. _But then again, he was halfway there,_her previous anger at him reminded her.

A crash was heard as Jake forced the door open. "Bella? Fucking answer me, will ya?"

She smirked down at the man she was on top of, and he shook his head at her, a worried look in his eyes. She nodded back, and he looked a little terrified; he was a smart man.

"Jake! I'm in here, I might have twisted my ankle when I jumped out of the tub, baby!" Edward looked terrified at the loud footsteps approaching, confirming her words that Jake was a big guy.

"Bella? Why were you jumping around in the first place? You know how clumsy you... are..."

"Jake, help me up, my ankle hurts..." she whined convincingly as she tried not to giggle.

"What the hell, Bella?!" He took her proffered hand and ripped her up from her position on top of the naked man he'd never seen before.

Edward broke his shocked silence to try to explain. "I was getting into the shower and turned on the water, and she jumped out at me."

"I suggest you not talk right now, asshole," Jake said, having the urge to grab the guy by the collar of his shirt and throw him against the wall. Fortunately for the guy, he wasn't wearing a collar. Or unfortunately, considering how it meant he was naked with his fiancee. Jake settled for giving him a death glare as Bella limped convincingly to the doorway. She knew she could be a good actress if she really set her heart to it.

Jake followed behind her reluctantly, and she stepped aside to let him out of the bathroom.

When his back was turned, Bella glanced back at Edward, who was still sitting on the bathroom floor, but he was smirking her, licking the fingers that were covered in her wetness. He was much braver now that the danger had passed.

She rolled her eyes at the dramatic display and decided to tease him right back, considering how he had no chance with her anyway. She glanced at Jake who was still walking to the front door, so she hurriedly stripped off her underwear and tossed it at him. "Thanks for the entertainment, you fucking omnivore."

"Thanks," he winked at her. She rolled her eyes again and turned to follow Jake, enjoying the feeling of freedom that came with the extra breeze.

"And I've been a vegan for the past 12 years," he called after her just before she slammed the front door behind her. As Jake took her hand to lead her back upstairs, there were only one phrase revolving around in her mind.

_Oh, shit. I'm in so much fucking trouble now._

* * *

Yes, there are actual eggs that are fertilized that you can buy. There's no chick shaped baby inside—it's only just barely past that first stage—and the reason why they sell them is just like Jacob said: Only _happy_ chickens can produce young, and this is a guarantee that the company you're buying from hasn't abused it's animals just for the sake of money. He has a good point, but it's a touchy subject for vegetarians, and a tricky line to cross XD

Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any thought, questions, or comments on the story, or silly little VeganElla.

OH! And check out the banner for this story made by the freaking AWESOME yanxxx! **bit(.)ly/9g5EDJ** (just remove the parentheses :D)

Much Love,

MuffN


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